I'm Baaaack!

Wow.. It's been a while!

With the exception of being newly single, (been a while!) everything else remains the same. Still working with two lovely old ladies and the family is healthy!
Still doing well in school and looking for a way to finish my program as fast as I can... Wanna start working already! haha What a loser huh? I actually want to work... well not rly WANT to work, but more the money.. So i guess that makes up for it right?

I cannot believe how much older we have all gotten.. Everything seems to be changing so fast!

Mom and Dad just recently celebrated their 41st and 47th birthday... Today is their 22nd wedding anniversary... and they couldn't be happier. I only pray that I'll find someone to share my life with like they have found each other.

Raf is also so grown.. so mature..yet not...haha. He'll grow sometime I guess, he's getting there. He helps out Mr.Brown sometimes and goes to school at night. He's paying for his own stuff, cell phone and car insurance. Which I guess is more than you can say for kids his age (18). I'm glad that he's finding himself and not going with the hiogh school crowd anymore and getting himself into drugs. I'm proud of him. He's also getting out of his shell and making new friends which is a good thing.

Dan... Oh Dan.. haha. Loves his CoD... Always playing whenever he has a chance.. well at least he quit Runescape... his own choice. He's definetely the quiet type, but did have a lot of friends over last night. One of his really close friends, Brendan, recently started going to church and being really involved. Unfortunately, Dan isnt interested so they're not hanging out as much anymore..

Ariel... forever the ladies man I think. lol. Only 14... Always out doing SOMETHING... which is great. Loves being outside and chilling with his group of friends. Probably the only one at our house that likes the snow..and who's interested in snow boarding. He's very concerned about his school work and is aware of his grades and how they'll help him get to a good college. Really hope it all works out well for him. He's determined.

It's very weird seeing them[bros] all so grown up. Raf went gambling yesterday (!), Dan had his friends over and Ariel had his.. It's fun to see how well they get along, everyone together. They're lucky to have each other and being so close in age. The get to grow up together teaching each other the ropes. I can see how being a mom is also fun, you get to see them grow up, mess up and be there to help them when they fall.

Me.. hmm. I do not know. I'm also just finding out what I like, what I'm like.. without a boyfriend. It's fun, absolutely. Although sometimes it does get lonely. But I'm so thankful for everything that has happened lately. Lots of things have opened up my eyes. I'm so fortunate to have the kind of jobs I have. I really have nothing to complain about.
I have recently rekindled with some old friends and it's funny how even though we haven't talked in so long, we can still be great friends like we used to be.

Days Off

Loving this color right now...
Omggg, had three days off in a row this week.. Monday, day off from work and snow day so no classesss :) yay. Such a lazy day..awww so niiiiice. These days are when I miss my babe the most :( UGH UGH UGH

Today I didn't work because of some schedule changessss, so tomorrow I have class and stil not working :) Until thursday.. Got into a little argument with mom this morning but all is well now. I'm difficult...what can I say?! hmmm. Saudade do meu gostosooo!

Really procrastinating right now doing a SMALL english assignment. Oh my, laziness is awful. This weekend will be three weeks since I haven't seen my bebe :( He's really sad because Ian is coming home and he'll be alone in his room, so of course he wants me to go there...
But it's hard for me with work and stuff..I haveeee to work sat and sun night, so it's not even worth it to go see him and have to leave early...

So i guess I'm be missing him til he comes home a week from this friday. HE COMES HOME IN A WEEK! yes. Whole weeeeeek all to myselffffffffff. :p mmm mmm!

Today I was talking to my mom about plans for my birthday. I have no idea what to do! Since Renata left it's me, dan and sabs. And this year i guess i'll call jess too. No clue what to do... But i can't even plan anything because Raf wants some of his friends to come over for his birthday but he wants to have alcohol. Which is a big no-no because my mom will absolutely just freak out. He wants to invite 15 people(!!!) and have them over to drink.

So now, I gotta come up with something that he can do with his friends, drink or whatever but not let it be here... Then for y birthday I'll just improv something cuz I'm def having my buds over to drink...duh. I'm the oldest...i rule :) But also cuz my friend's list is also four/five people... Yeeeh, soo should be a fun fun month...

oooookay, now back to homeworrrk :P BLAHHHHH

love

Is love silly? Or is it silly to be "in love"?
Sometimes I think it's silly to think that I'm actually in love with someone.
why? Cuz I still think of myself as being incredibly young to feel so strongly about him.
it feels wrong but oh so right...
like not at the right time. Not that i dont like it, i looove it.
We'll see what happens ........

you, you...

Relationships are hard. Lotta work, commitment and communication. But once you're in one you can't seem to want to get out. Yeah, you're only supposed to stay with that one person and not cheat on them. Going clubbing and grinding on other guys is also out of the question... Basically, not doing what a regular single girl would do. In spite of all those things you miss out on, we still commit to relationships, to having one person to love.


I'm in a relationship. Since we've met it feels as if we knew each other forever. Anything we talked about we agreed on. Before we had feelings for each other, we were friends. I think that's another reason why it worked out so well for us. I figured we would talk about anything and everything.
When he went away to college i knew things would be harder. Being able to see each other whenever we wanted or could was now going to be mostly vacations, holidays and maybe who knows every month...Before the time came, I was dying inside. Who knew what would happen to us once we weren't as close anymore?! How much we were going to change and not want the same things anymore.....

Hopefully, we were both as in love with each other as the first day, when he asked me to be his girl. He completes me. He makes me see all the faults I have but still seems to love me anyway. Without knowing he has taught me so much about myself, life and love. Things I need to change that only he sees in me. My life would definitely not be the same without him. I've grown and now have a more mature thought on love, and its purpose in our lives.

We have had our big fights. I start all of them of course. I wouldn't have said anything before but I really care for us and I have learned that if I leave things unsaid, later on can be too late.
I do kinda explode when I want to talk about something. Maybe because I'm mad. And I should just calm down first and then talk about it. I know it's something I really need to work on. But if I let myself calm down I end up forgetting about it and letting it go, because I'm not mad anymore.

• I'm a one guy kind of girl. When I love you, I love you and you only.
• Three weeks suck, we both know that (actually so does two weeks but w.e.)
• Most but not all our fights are because I want you to do things in a different way....
• I know you want me to tell right when things are wrong.. but when things do go wrong, it doesn't mean it's the best time to do say them..(like u trying to study)
• I though uranass was clever... MEAN yes. but still clever :/
• You are NOT insensitive. I said that because i was trying to plan something romantic/naughty that you would like and you make jokes....ARGHH :p And I'm not saying that you're not insensitive because you proved it to me in your blog. I know you're not baby...i know, you're my Mr. wonderful, MY dimply man. You're my MAN. mine mine :)

If I needed someone to love
you're the one that I'm thinking of ....

te amo paixao x3

Another week.. !

Yay, Friday is finally here!
ughh.
Throat feels a little bit better... but we'll see what happens tomorrow...
Dentist at 8a !!!
hmmm, Dan was mad at me last night... No clue why. He was the one being a jackass. I wanted to talk about planning something for our 1+1/2 Anniversary and he couldn't be serious about it. Made me so mad. I said something and he thought it was mean or whatever. OMG. Him not being here is really taking a toll on me. I love him... but idk how much longer this is going to work out. I know he's not the argumentative type. But when it comes to us and how we need to talk about it to fix it..nooo. Nothing. I know he cares, but actions speak louder than words on this one...


mmm, off to class..
Wish me luck.... math exam :(

Complicated

I know that I can be complicated, but OH GOD. Adults can be really ridiculous sometimes. After tomorrow I'll see whether I'm should tell my mom or not that Tio Haroldo wants to keep seeing me. I still don't feel that it's weird. I dont know if i should call Renata and talk to her because I certainly can't talk to Dan about it. He's too jealous to function... Can only tell i'm what he wants to hear. Unfortunately the same does not go for me.
Ai, he was so unbelievable yesterday. Telling me that he was going to give up porn for lent. Isn't that just.ugh i can't even describe it. He knows how I feel about that. Then I ask him to read an essay I wrote, so he can hep me. The guy completely shits on my life. He was so critical and not in a good way either that I couldn't really get over it.
Sometimes he can be so insensitive. Just another joy of relationships.There are days I really wish I was gay. The world would make much more sense then.

Not going to the strip club tomorrow. First of all because I'm horny as heck and i don't really think that this is the way to go.... Sooo I answered Sam's text and we're going to a movie. As soon as I come back from wherever Tio and I are going.

OMG, dentist app tomorrow at 8a !

mmm :(

Up to date

Song: Thinking of you

Exactly what I've been doing since I finished my awful, awful math homework.
I had a great time last weekend. Dan was home and all was sweeeet. Then he leaves :(
But yeeeeh, it's life. Guess I'll see him soon enough. OMG, but seriously, i already knew being a girl sucked BIG time. Now I'm sure... UGH, idk how much longer I can take. i'm human too ya know?! I need some lovinnnn. It's really frustrating and I might have to take drastic measures.. not that he'll like it but whateverrrr, need to start a little bit more about ME :) He's not here anyway, so might as well...

On to less frustrating thingsss. This week I finally called Renata. Oh i miss her so much! Not having her here is so hard. But I'm hoping I'll get to see her sooner than I thought. First thing I'm doing when I can is go to Brazil. Have some loooong overdue fun.

Saw Amber at school this week and she invited me to go to a Chip n Dale's...
yep.. exactly my reaction! So I'm kinda here and there on weather I wanna go or not. I've been kinda down lately so I think it could do me some good. AND Sam texted me earlier asking me if I was free this friday. And Renata's dad also asked me if i was free this friday.
It's always like that. I almost never have any plans on the weekends. Then one person offers and ten others call out of nowhere. Idk how I'm going to do this. Still need to talk to my mom if it's a good idea that Tio Haroldo is calling me to hang out. I feel really bad, because Renata isn't here and he definetely misses her a lot. So i'm in a really difficult situation.

We'l see what happens. I might have to figure all of this out tomorrow.

Plus got an exam in math friday.
busy busy week.

ahh and we enter March.















....and closer and closer it gets